MY THREE VICES



I have decided that I live a life of excess and it must stop. My life is being ruined by it. It all comes down to three areas where I need to see change happen: money, weight, and academics.

Money Problems

Problem: I am poor. I spend money even though I am poor. I consider my credit card as an extension of my body.

Examples of Problem: I have amassed quite a large anime and manga collection through the use of my credit card.
I now own:

Trigun and Hellsing $300 (damn you Amazon.com for charging me full price...I should have known better and bought them on ebay,)

Nadia: The Secret of Blue Water $30,

vol 1 of Azumanga Diaoh $40,

Chobits $30 (thanks to cheap prices on ebay. I love ebay!!)

***As for manga, I own:***

Chobits vol 1-4 $9.99 each,

One Piece vol 1-3 $7.95 each

FLCL vol 1&2 $9.99 each

Escaflowne vol 1 $9.99

Trigun vol 2 $14.95

***Misc.***

assortment of Trigun and Hellsing pins $21.00 (damn you ebay for being so easy)

Summary and Solution: So you see I spend tons of money for instant gratification. I don't know the value of money and will pay terribly high prices for on the whim purchases even if I need them to have my love affair with vash the Stampede. In order to solve this problem I will be handing my mother my credit card when I get home and will not use it unless of an emergency. I will also save my paychecks to balance my loan (which I am currently living off of)


Weight Problem

Problem: As most of you know I am losing weight. I need to lose 60 more pounds before reaching my goal. I will reach this goal. The problem that stands in my way is my self diagnosed binge eating disorder. I binge eat. I will eat food even when I'm not hungry. I'll keep eating until guilt sets in or my jaw hurts. My binges are so bad that I will go to the binge if I don't have food in my dorm. Doing other stuff doesn't really assuage that urge to eat. Sad isn't it. I only seem to binge on the weekends after my weigh in on friday.

Summary and Solution: My binge eating disorder is not about the food I eat. It's completely psychological. So, in order to heal myself emotionally and better my weight loss and healthy lifestyle, I am doing 2 things. When I feel a binge coming on I will try to make myself busy by: going for a walk, reading outside, talking to a friend, etc. If that doesn't work I will call Irene for a good bitch slap and reminder as to why my life is meaningful and not worthy of a binge. Secondly I am reading Dr. Phil's Ultimate Weight Solution to gain some more psychological insight.


Academic Problems

hmm...I don't really feel like discussing this. I'm way too ready for school to end.

**************************************************************

Awww, time for more interesting stories about my life.

I have decided that Archie is a pirate hunter and is currently waging war on the high seas that be my body. With that his current enemies are Terrible Tim (the notorious pirate that governs the flab and fat right above my belly button,) the saucy sisters Helga and Elda (my thigh fat,) Ave and Maria (the opera singers that are also my boobs) and Buttons McCoy (my hip fat which has finally decided to recede and hoist the white flag of surrender)

I had a gay erotic dream the other night. If that sounded strange to you it was even weirder to me. Sad part is I wasn't even turned on. It was more like watching a tragic ifc indie film. The plot was that there was this gay couple who go to this dark smokey coffee house to look for a little excitement in their relationship. They meet this foreigner from Germany or Sweden or something who is backpacking by himself in America. At this point it is rather ambiguous as to whether he is gay or not too. The couple and the foreigner start to talk (in broken english no less) and the couple eventually ask him to come back to their place. He goes (okay I'm naming the foreigner Karl cuz I'm tired of him not having a name) ...Karl goes home with the couple and after getting more than a little drunk on wine, they have themselves a little orgy. Karl stays at the couple's place and they take him to see the sights around New York (more post dream ad-libbing.) One night the three of them go to this gay sex club for a litle fun where poor Karl kinda gets shafted (pun not intended lol)by the couple who go off with other people. Karl then procedes to go through a bunch of random men a la Dahmer fashion (wait..this sounds too much like Dahmer...hmmm) The difference between my dream and the movie Dahmer is that Karl (too bad I didn't name him Jeffrey)starts getting really sick by the way he is living his life. He has spent all of his money, he lives on the streets, does drugs from dirty needles and has sex with men he doesn't know (even more ad-libbing.) He wasn't like this originally either. The point was that his innocence was corrupted. He now has all these sores on his body, one that was even popped by one of the guys he was with..ewww....puss and ooze..very nasty. Worse part of all were the bugs and ticks that were in his ears. The dream ended with the couple walking down the street one day and coming across Karl. They can't believe how terrible a condition he was in. I don't know if they helped him or not.

Strange huh. Just to let you know I made up about 75% of that as I was writing it. The thing with dreams is that they are mostly just visuals. You are shocked by the images you see and most often don't remember the plotline. I couldn't remember the exact plot for this dream. All I could remember was the images of the couple and "Karl" in the coffee house, tick like bugs coming out of his ears, Karl wearing a white shirt and looking all sickly while a guy is doing him from behind and the guy's hand pops one of karl's boils and all you see is this brown stain on the shirt from the puss and blood, and the couple seeing Karl at the end and being fairly disgusted. I made up the rest to make it more interesting.

I am still madly in love with Vash the Stampede. When I come home I am getting a black kitten and naming it Vash the Stampede even if it's a girl.
- posted by ariel at 2:14 AM

 
RANDOM THINGS I HAVE NOTICED OR DONE IN THE PAST 20 MINUTES
*My room smells like graham crackers

*the badger has died and the lobster will now be eating it

*my water was laced with cocaine...I found white powder on my water bottle

*I ressurected the damn badger

*I just smelled my Jack Daniels Hikory smoke mustard...and their is no jd in there

*I diagnosed myself as a binge eater. I will attempt not to binge on weekends anymore. I will call Irene instead...or go watch anime...or go pretend to have a threesome with Vash the Stampede and Alucard...hmmm

*I am still depressed that my anime threesome has been postponed yet again due to crappy cal poly mail system. My threesome will now oficially start at 1pm wed.

*I have had to pee so bad for the past 20 min. given that I drunk a 1.5 liter bottle of water (w/cocaine no less)

*Rescued my OnePiece manga from the messy desk drawer that was threatening to eat it.

*just went to bathroom and now feel much better

*smelled JD mustard again...still no alcohol...but i did smell the smoke flavoring

*I am so mad that Jerry Orbach is leaving Law & Order and that creepy Dennis Farina is replacing him. Eww...he's like a cross between Alex Trebek and Burt Reynolds

*Dude, was the season finale of L&O: SVU bitchin or what. Hmm...tumors cause pediphelia...Irene was going to get so mad if the principal chick wasn't pregnant with her 14yr old student's baby. That kid was too cute too. Armer blond kid.

*I want peanut butter

- posted by ariel at 12:05 AM

 
BOYCOTTS FOR THE WEEK
People and things have been pissing me off this weekend so I have decided to create a list of all the things and people I am currently boycotting:

*gas prices - so outrageously high I am refusing to buy gas. I have not bought gas since I came back from Irvine 2 weeks ago and I will not buy gas untill it's cheaper than freakin $2.35 a gallon. I am happy to remain on E.

*Kelloggs corn flakes - the guy who founded the cereal or his brother or something was completely against masturbation and preached that eating corn flakes would cure someone of their libidinous thoughts

*America's Judicial System - I don't understand why the display of naked gnomes is so offensive. The guy was just trying to exercise his right to free speech.

*Army Pfc. Lynndie England - God, At least I'm not as fucked up as her.

*Irene - for wanting to see Superman the Musical. I just can't accept that from her.
- posted by ariel at 7:39 PM

 
END OF WEEK REPORT
I could have sworn I did one of these end of week reports just a few days ago but whatever, I like to write and write I shall. This week has been not too productive academically, but that does not really concern me at the moment. My personal life has been way more interesting than usual in the areas of Archie, my fantasy world, and Dance. (God, tech writing is invading my life and my poor blog has too suffer through SEE paragraphs because of it.)

As of this week, Archibald Fatticus III (my weight loss baby) is oficially back and kicking ass. For the past month Archie has been missing and I didn't exactly care to look for him. I went on a serious binge. I am a foodaholic. I admit that I had skipped weight watchers meetings and would binge eat on the weekends. I stopped exercising except for dance class. I landed up gaining a good 5 lbs back that I had worked so hard to shed.

So this week I recommitted myself to staying on program, drinking tons of water, and walking every day. I KNOW I lost weight when I stayed on program, so with that knowledge I am prepared again to stay on track. Pizza, candy, and all the other junk food (McDonald's) are not worth putting in my body. I know I can do it this time!!! I just have to remember to take it one day at a time and be patient. This weight is not going to come off overnight.

As of now I weight 197.8 lbs, which is the lowest I have weighed in 2 years. My thighs are also a lot thinner. I recently purchased a set of 5lb weights and will begin to get some upper body strength. My goal is to be down to 190 lbs by June 13 (which is when I get out of school.)I will continue to go to weight watchers meetings over the summer and my goal is to lose 30 more lbs before coming back for the fall; that would put me at about 160lbs. 160lbs would be fabulous to start the new school year off. After that I would just have to lose about 15 to 20 lbs more to be at a healthy weight. I have not been at a healthy weight since middle school so this would be a big change for me. But I am excited and I am determined to make it to goal. I don't want to be overweight anymore.

My fantasy world has also gotten a boost this week. Irene has offered me the services of her former prom date and friend to fulfill my Harry Potter fantasies. I have made a list of fantasies that he needs to make happen:

*harry potter (including harry potter wedding)
*office S&M (he is also in aerospace, so maybe we will work together someday and this one can come true)
*Vash the Stampede (Aghhh...why am I so in love with him...the guy doesn't remotely look like him except that he wears glasses...ooh and Vash is a nomad and this guy will be going around Europe this summer.)
*hmm...I can't think of any others at the moment.

Just to let you all know, I will be having a threesome with Vash the Stampede and Alucard from Hellsing this monday. On a whim, I bought the complete Trigun and complete Hellsing DVDs. Put me back about $300 so it better be worth it.

Irene has been noting that recently I have been mixing fantasy world and reality a lot. I shall for her sake try not to, but it is very hard. Much harder than losing weight. Oh, if you want to hear something hillarious call Irene's cell phone and listen to her message.

I owe so much to Norm and Anne Tiber. They are my folk dancing teachers and they have filled me with an appreciation for dance. Previously I have always stated that I hated to dance. I would never dance at parties or dances (prom especially.) But I suppose I just never found a type of dancing that I really liked. I love folk dancing and contra dancing. I still hate hip hop or club dancing. I have been so dance obsessed this week that almost every day I have danced for no reason. I would put on my dance cd and dance the allunelle or dance the patterns in a contra. I love it. My feet protest when I am not dancing. I seriously can't wait till June 4, when the next contra dance is happening. And I can't wait till I go home for the summer. In San Diego there is contra dancing every friday or saturday. I am also going to attend folk dancing classes and english country dance lessons (jane austen type dancing.)

Wow, my posts are seriously getting long.
Talk to you all later.

- posted by ariel at 3:28 PM

 
HARRY POTTER PARTY (repost)
Okay I am announcing that I will be holding a Harry Potter party in June to celebrate the debut of the newest movie. It will be a costume party, so come dressed as your favorite character.

There will be lots of food and decorations (I'm making my own little Hogsmeade)We will be watching HP 1 and HP 2 and doing little HP crafts and games (I'm going to try to find an HP trivia game or something) The evening will end with massive carpool to Mira Mesa to see Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban.

Since everyone except for lucky Laura will still be in school when it premieres, I will be holding it SAT JUNE 26 and will start the first movie at 4pm, Hogwarts dinner feast (probably pizza and whatever traditional British foods I care to make) at 7pm and HP 3 will be at 9 or 10pm. Hope you all can make it, I will send formal invites out later this month, and I need RSVPs for HP 3 so I can buy tixs in advance.

- posted by ariel at 12:32 AM

 
MY LIFE IS VERY BLAH!!
Update Overview:
*why my life is blah
*Contra Dancing
*Harry Potter Party

Hmmm...Why is my life blah. It just is. I feel like I have been coasting along for days at a time, not really thinking or doing much. Which I suppose is okay. I failed to finish my story outline from the last post, and now I'm too bored to do it. So you will not be seeing the rest of that story.

The bottom is about about to drop out from under me regarding my college career. Math ditching has become too consistent a passtime, 10page+ report on making the Avenue (on-campus eatery) a place for wireless internet is due in a few weeks along with class presentation (which sucks because I know nothing about computers,) and 30page+ report on our military trainer is due as well as powerpoint and presentation to industry. AWWWWW....my life will be sucking majorly for the next few weeks. So I will enjoy this last week of freedom.

I went contra dancing this weekend. I almost didn't go either. I am usually a social chicken and therefore I almost decided to stay at Anime club and not suck it up and try something new. The only thing that got me to walk into the building was the thought that I may actually have fun on a saturday night. So I got dressed up (black skirt, brown tank top, and nice black shoes,) put on make-up, and sat through 2 hours of anime before getting in my car and going to the slo veterans hall just down the street. To be honest, I was reallly nervous. It isn't like me to be this spontaneous. Especially when I don't know anyone there. But I did it. I walked into the building, payed the 10 bucks and waited till the dancing started.

Contra dancing is not line dancing or square dancing. It's similar to square but is done with a partner in long lines. There is a live band playing music and a caller who will teach the dance and call the steps. This is definetely a mixer dance. You will dance with pretty much everyone in the room during a particular dance and it is customary to have a different partner for each dance. There is a ton of twirling and strangely enough, bodily contact. My favorite part is the fact that while dancing the room tends to be spinning all around you and the only thing that remains clear is your partner's face.

Before attending this dance I had never been asked to dance before, I had never really danced with a guy before, I had never danced the waltz, and I had never actually enjoyed dancing. This dance changed all of that. For starters, I was really nervous about being asked to dance. But, I shouldn't have worried because I was asked within 10 minutes of arriving. I was also nervous because there was no instruction class so I didn't really know what I was doing. But everyone was so nice and helpful that I learned it as I went along and everyone gave me tips. It was actually not that hard to learn and I had learned several of the steps in my folk dance class (buzz step for the swing, allemandes,circle right/left.)I danced all of the dances except for 2 (one contra and one of the 2 waltzes)and I was asked to dance all of the times except for 2 or three, where I had asked the gentleman to dance.

It seriously pays to dance with more experienced dancers. In class, when we had done the buzz step/swing it always felt awkward since we didn't really know what we were doing or there was this whole feeling of avoidance of touching another person (2 of the guys in my class are the exception; they are actually fun to swing with)But dancing with experienced males (hmm...nevermind) was a treat. They know how to give weight (leaning back a bit while turning as to give tension)and therefore there is this whole spinning centrigugal force thing which can be really fun!! The problem with the people in my class is that they don't know how to give weight and therefore they feel like limp noodles in your arms. Spinning with them does not have a fluid motion.

I can't wait till the next contra dance on June 4 (same day as Harry Potter.) They also hold contra dances every week in San Diego, so I better get some support when I come back. I expect my friends to come and join in the fun.

Okay I am announcing that I will be holding a Harry Potter party in June to celebrate the debut of the newest movie. It will be a costume party, so come dressed as your favorite character. There will be lots of food and decorations (I'm making my own little Hogsmeade)We will be watching HP 1 and HP 2 and doing little HP crafts and games (I'm going to try to find an HP trivia game or something) The evening will end with massive carpool to Mira Mesa to see Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. Since everyone except for lucky Laura will still be in school when it premieres, I will be holding it Sat June 26 and will start the first movie at 4pm, Hogwarts dinner feast (probably pizza and whatever traditional British foods I care to make) at 7pm and HP 3 will be at 9 or 10pm. Hope you all can make it, I will send formal invites out later this month, and I need RSVPs for HP 3 so I can buy tics in advance.

- posted by ariel at 11:26 PM

 
UPDATES FOR THE WEEK mostly for my knowledge
Okay, I have no real care to update you, my wonderful readers (all one of you, Annie,jk) on what's been happening in my life this week. Mostly because nothing has happened. I have had no real homework so I've mostly been watching tv and reading fanfiction. But I have to recap what I need to do this week so here it is:

DANCE:

5/7/04 Salsa lessons and Dance 8-11pm arch building rm225
5/8/04 Contra Dance at slo vet hall 7:30-11:30pm
*buy flat tennis shoes to dance in
**buy swishy skirt to dance in
***call about summer lessons (english country dance, folk dance)
****beg friends to go contra dancing with me this summer (will bargain: martial arts lessons for Laura or that country line dance place for Shannon)

MOVIES:

Rent these movies this weekend
*Clockwork Orange
*Stealing Beauty
*Sound of Music
*Everest
*Taboo
*The Piano

MINNA NO ANIME:

5/8/04 anime club...watch anime till contra dance time
*find someone to let me borrow Trigun
**Drool over Vash the Stampede
***stop crossing Harry Potter and Hellsing in my mind

FANTASY LIFE:

My fantasy life is still very active and tends to make up for my increasing anti-social tendencies

*I constantly fantasize about corporate life: memos, procedures, regulations, enforcing regulations, symposiums, and yelling at subordinates. I'm afraid that this might lead to being turned on by office S&M...something I'm probably prone to.

**Draco Malfoy (age 18 please) do I really have to say more. I like to pretend that I'm Hermione and that he's really all dark and brooding. And we have this fling, maybe fulfill some prophecy. The fling leads to Hermione getting pregnant and she leaves Hogwarts without a word. She and her parents move to Australia and she nearly dies giving birth to her daughter. The doctors perform a cesarean and she bleeds so much that her heart stops and they have to cut her chest open (so graphic, I know...too much ER) She survives but she has some pretty hideous scars. Anyways...she and her daughter June move to New Zealand and run the household of this farm guy (think The Piano, especially Harvey Keitel) Eventually, when June is six, she returns to Hogwarts upon receiving an invitation from Dumbledore. Meanwhile, Draco has been interning as a potions instructor under Snape's guidance. Hermione refuses to acknowledge that June is Draco's kid. Lots of other things happen but they take too much time to write out. This is just a teaser.LOL

***My grand epic which I think I've only ever told Katie. This one is pretty bitchin and still involves Hermione as the main character. I swear I will actually write this one out. It crosses Harry Potter, Jane Eyre, LOTR, Gladiator, Willow, Valmont, Hellsing and others. I just use the plot and some of the characters from these movies and put them in my story, so no true crossovers.

Basically Hermione gets kidnapped in her 5th year (to fulfill some prophecy and rid the world of evil) and all her memories of hogwarts are erased. She gets placed as a servant in a wizarding home (think victorian/jane eyre) and she becomes the governess to the little fench girl. The lady of the house was supposed to teach her some type of magic but she has such a bias against muggle borns that she refuses and the man of the house is forced to get rid of her.

She goes to some charm school where she learns how to be a lady, how to dance, etc. no real magic (she doesn't have a wand anyways.) But the charm school actually fronts as a brothel for wizards, namely death eaters. So she actually attempts to seduce Lucius Malfoy without even knowing it. But another man rescues her by saying that lucius would be too cruel for her first time. So he teaches her the ways of love, sex and seduction. (Think Valmont, but not with colin firth, replace him with john malcovich, so pretty much Dangerous Liasons instead)

By this time, the higher ups (to be revealed later) who were supposed to be preparing Hermione to fight Voldemort have realized that the first woman never taught her wandless magic like she was supposed to and so they send Ben Kingsley to fetch her from the school and give her proper training. By this time Hermione is probably 18 or 19. Ben Kingsley (don't know his name yet but he looks like him) teaches her wandless magic and Russel Crowe (gladiator) teaches her to fight with a sword.

At this point, I'm imagining that a bunch of non-wizards and other magical creatures live in this world. (willow) Voldemort has his death eaters, the dementors, evil creatures, and evil non-magic people on his side. The good side includes the ministry of magic, Hogwarts, and a bunch of village type non-wizards, and even a non-magical army (think Willow or LOTR.)

Hermione thinks upon Ben as a father figure and even becomes close to his young adopted son. But after her lessons are complete he tells her that he sold her to the army to fight against voldemorts creatures. She quickly ascends the ranks in the army, and the captain makes her an assassin. She is actually very good at this. She dresses like a ninja/sorsha from Willow (sort of) and rides a horse. She sneaks into the houses of death eaters and poisons them with a massive dose of arsenic. Just before they die she kisses them. She gets her reputation from the fact that she brutally massacres the body after they are dead. Lots of carnage (kind of like From Hell)

When she gets back from an assignment she has dinner with her Captain who without her knowledge puts a heavy sleeping draught in her food. When she wakes she finds that her arms are tied and she is riding in front of Aragorn on a horse (again, i'm not sure of his name, but he looks like this) A struggle persues, obviously. But he tells her that she was sold yet again. This time to this band of rangers of whom Aragorn is the leader. Lots of stuff happens here...again I'm too tired to write it all, plus if I actually do write this story there has to be some surprises.

Hermione finds herself falling for the leader of the rangers and he even likes her too. She may portray herself as being this hard, cold assassin but she's still rather innocent inside. Time passes and the rangers have to take this witch girl to Hogwarts (which now also serves as a protective fortress) to protect her from Voldemort who wants her for his side. The girl is much prettier than Hermione and constantly flirts with the ranger leader. Which makes Herm mad, especially when he flirts back.

So they all get to Hogwarts, and Hermione feels this strange pull in her. Like she almost remembers being here. Harry, Ron and Ginny are overcome with emotion when they see her. But she just stares at them uncomfortably, she doesn't remember them. Dumbledore, who was the one who originally took her memories (for her protection and to further the prophesy) gives them back to her. She's mad and confused at everyone who has lied to her, even the ranger leader who was actually the one who kidnapped her in the first place.

Forgot to mention that the one who was pushing this prophecy thing, that Hermione will be the one to save everyone and defeat voldemort, is a wizard who is higher in rank than dumbledore (think saruman from LOTR) He is at Hogwarts at the moment as well. The wizards tell Hermione about the prophecy and inform her that she has to undergo this ritual and take into her the powers of all these former witches and wizards.

Ok...I am way too tired to finish this. Maybe I'll finish in a post tommorow.



- posted by ariel at 10:34 PM